I want to have your abortion
I just told my doc I would like to talk about my drinking problem, but that it would probably get in the way of my weekend plans.
Stop it. You sound like you're giving birth.
And then he asked the cop "shall i shut off the lady gaga?" as he was being frisked.
according to the contents of this bucket, last night i swallowed a whole teabag
do you think having her use a clorox disinfecting wipe on her vagina will keep me from getting her herpes if I don't have a condom?
We had break up sex twice. He said one was cause he had to say goodbye to both tits.
just because she threw up on my junk doesnt mean i dont like asians anymore
i just got drunk dialed and its 10am. clearly finals are over.
You can't break up with me and ask me for a handjob on the same day. At least not in that order.
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
If I had your job the next day id be on the news. And not the good news. Like fox & friends. Nancy grace would have my ass.
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
So apparently last night while I was drunk I read him erotic fanfiction while he was eating me out. He stopped every now and then to give me feedback.
Pretty sure the waitress here is concerned about well being bc I've been here drinking by myself for 3 hours. If only I could show here FB so she'd know I'm not alone...
Randomize
