Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
i wish i could google "things to eat in my fridge" so i wouldnt have to go downstairs and be disappointed
Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
Don't worry I drank 7 more beers & brought home a guy that bit me at the bar.
Slutty costumes are my most sacred holiday tradition! Wearing a not-slutty costume is like putting cheezwiz on a communion wafer.
He's tweaking out . If he's on fucking bathsalts and eats my face like a chalupa pull the plug. I don't want to live with no fucking face. Pull. The. Plug.
Duuuuuuuude, I need you to sleep with my girlfriend so I can tell you both to move out
Friends don't let friends drunk sleep in the dorm common room
Date idea: we should go to the store and buy all the different kinds of Lay's and eat them all
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
Stumbled across a pregnancy test in my closet. Oh, the freshman year flashbacks..
He's unconstrained by sanity, physics, or his liver.
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
She's chasing the cat around the house hitting it with a cardboard sword yelling "there can be only one!"
Randomize
