I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
guy picked up a cops taser, thing shot him in the neck, he went down and pissed himself, cop started laughing and hasnt called an ambulance.
I called him Han Solo during sex, he looked at me like he was mortified then I realized he came.
She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
I wonder sometimes what your vagina thinks about you.
She just messaged me 19 sad faces.
Your dad needs a mid life crisis affair thing, I could totally be that girl.
She passed out in his mom's bed and when we went to go get her she went 'no its cool I live here'.
In conversation she brought up that she slept with Tucker Max on the UF football field
Hey... Tell me if you remember differently, but nobody truly saw me naked, right?
I just plagiarized Dr. Curtis Connor's ideology from Spider-man in an essay on genetically engineered embryos. College: academic integrity at its finest.
I threw up this morning to Silent Night playing in background. It was actually quite soothing.
My wife managed to convince me to not drink everclear by threatening to ban me from her vagina
you took my virginity. you can't have my alcohol too.
Remember when I was real fucked up and said I would give up utensils and only use chopsticks for lent?...just got the reminder on my phone.
Randomize
