The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
So drunk its hurt
He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
so you had a one ended conversation with the toilet las night in between barfs. you kept telling the toilet how strong it was because its gone through a lot of shit in its life.
drunk me is so punny.
He's got a pretty small dick but he's a total sweetheart. I'm gonna buy a new dildo and just deal with it.
One girl peed the bed, one lost her panties, another woke up on the piano, I have pink eye and door knobs are missing. This is why I stay in Nebraska
$5 off purchases of eighths or more today only. Happy tax-free weekend. -Your consumer-minded pot dealer
You need to tell him your pregnant or we need to stop playing doubles beer-pong. My liver is begging you.
The night went downhill when he lit her purse on fire and tried putting it out with vodka
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
Took "drink until he's cute" to a whole new level last night...
He has started theming his dick pics. I have one he sent his duck has a sombrero on. Another a Barbie is riding it.
falling asleep on a hardwood floor changes a person
I walked in on my sister eating my leftover burrito naked. How could my night have gotten any worse?
Randomize
