his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
He doesn't need a wingman, he needs a miracle
having to delete all your hookups stored in your phone as first name followed by frat/bar after they've graduated is such a bittersweet feeling
She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
I was naked with an australian flag taped to my boobs. Damn internationals think they can claim everything.
I scrubbed the bathroom, smoked a bowl, and gave myself 3 orgasms. If the world ends today, I feel accomplished.
The only requirement is that his name is Kevin... All other factors don't matter to drunk me. Drunk me likey Kevins.
Bro I am trying to have one night stands nothing more, unless she is baking waffles I can eat out of her butthole I am not interested
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
He let me finish eating my sandwich while I sat his face. I think I'm in love with this little eager beaver.
Iron Man just asked me back to his place... Not sure I can handle this. Wish me luck.
fuck that its my house. if i want to take 1 bite out of the chicken & leave the rest i fucking will. suck my dick
someone just got arrested on campus...
holy fuck look at all that cocaine
I gave a handjob to the beat of uptown fuck last night
You were giving me all the reasons why being the big spoon is such a responsibility, and how you wish you were a girl cause the little spoon does nothing
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