Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
how do I set my phone to only ring when I'm asleep when sex is certain?
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
we had to stop you from eating moldy cake.. twice.
You know whats not fun? Making yourself throw up on a sand dune at 4 in the morning.
DIN'T JUSGE NE.
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
It is a sign that I need a fresh start when Kelly Clarksons new album tells the story of my life.
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
I am the only person I know ever to have been brought TO the bar in the back of a cop a car. Twice.
His phone started ringing when we were pulled over and he said 'hold on, this is most likely more important than you', proceeded to answer it and agree to work sunday, then hung up, looked at the cop and told him to continue.
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like running into your ex boyfriend at the liquor store at 3 in the afternoon.
what happened last night?
we watched you eat an entire bag of dorritos in the pouring rain... you refused to come inside
am drunk, naked, and blow drying cat. need adult supervision
I don't want to hook up with him sober. That's pretty much like saying I love you.
Randomize
