He jizzed my face. I had to ask for a washcloth. He ran his underwear under the water and handed them to me. Not so romantic.
He asked about stds. I told him I don't have any... which I don't. They are now called sti's. Whooopsie
so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
Yeah, my mom walked in on us. Instead of yelling, she went and hid in the bathroom til we finished. It was pretty classy.
who am I kidding I don't have any dignity. Plus we're not doing a porno, we're just doing random things naked
When I got up in the middle of the night, puked in his trash can, and snuck out the front door, I pretty sure he knew it was over.
I've never been to a "going away to jail" cookout. do we bring a present?
If I had pants on, you wouldn't be getting this text message
He was wearing a tux and a big sombrero so it automatically made the flute he was playing totally cool
I am very happy to share that the hospital says the testicle pain is normal and that they are going to take care of it.
He's super sweet. I feel like I'm dating Elmo. If Elmo had a 7 incher
How do you clean puke off a stuffed bear?
Don't worry I sent a creepy stalker message to a guy I slept with 6 years ago, Sunday Funday rock bottom
I just used an Amazon gift card from a student to order a new vibrator....teacher of the year
This is my life. Currently ordering a gift for my straight married girlfriend's husband from my lesbian married girlfriend.
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