I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
My grandmother just called to say she disowned me. Apparently I uploaded a video to Youtube of me dancing nude with a blow-up doll named Dorothy, last night. You are so fired from being damage control.
you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
i live my life in a constant state of hangover.
No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
He just said he wasn't going to drink on Saturday because he was drinking on Thursday and Friday...we need new friends.
The only way I can describe the noise he makes when he has an orgasm: dying walrus.
I was basically shocked at how calmly you accepted my violently shoving a french fry in your mouth.
He is just a personification of a vodka hangover.
Yes. Sex with questionable women, and made of potatoes.
But break dance skills will only take you so far
Boss out of town. Had 2 beers for lunch, a long walk and a bowl...and then in he comes. Blamed obvious intoxication on my pain meds. Back at the bar. This is one of those bad judgement days.
BRING THE BAGELS
I just woke up to my family in the living room watching our security camera tape of me last night talking to a stop sign in our backyard... How the fuck did I get that in the yard?
he just got here with a handle of tequila and box of condoms. looks like i'll be spending the weekend in bed
Someone threw up pink in the shower, there's a golf cart tipped over on the lawn and Cousin Brian is missing. What could Friday night throw at us?
Randomize
