I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
Buying beer for freshmen. No matter what they ask for, I'm getting them Colt 45.
You don't even understand how penises react in the cold. I'm like a 8 year old boy right now.
You would be married by May if you put half as much energy into getting straight guys as you do into getting gay guys
The polish Muslims are throwin paczkis into the crowd and I'm beer 6 before 11 am
hiding in a bush to avoid a seven dollar cab ride. cabby got out a flashlight and looked for us for like an hour. help.
He said he only likes girls with a sense of humor, after he took his pants off I understood why
Just finished my quantum homework in ladies room writing with eyeliner. I am the party/physics champion.
You say you're gonna take rehab seriously... but i keep imagining it as a training montage for you preparing to snort all of columbia.
That actually is really sweet of you
He told me he wanted to sleep but I touched his penis and listened to his heart beat start racing. I knew sleeping was bullshit.
Use your nursing skills for good, not evil.
All I remember is passing out with an umbrella over my head and waking up screaming bad luck for seven years
I got sucker punched while I was making out with some girl...I think my molar might have flown into her mouth
Sorry. My phone died in the middle of you explaining why we would never work as a couple. Whatever you were gonna say, I probably agree.
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
it was a 'fall asleep on the bathroom floor after puking bc the cold tile is legit more comfortable than your bed' kind of night.
Randomize
