Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
Omg. The strippers are having a batman vs spiderman showdown. Both on stage. Genius.
Then we managed to set a grill and all 24lbs of meat on it on fire. I didn't help because I was filled with alcohol and extra flammable.
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
I just got released from jail. still in my kilt. bring pants damnit. they won't understand.
pants will make it better? really?
Bro, there is a rent-a-cop selling syringes out of the trunk of his car. This is why I hate the DMV.
Hey man. We haven't met but my name is Ben. I threw up a bunch at your house last night. I heard you smoke though so I'll smoke you out anytime.
Passing out is my livers way of protecting my mind.
Walking my dog and eating a taco in last night's dress.. Classy
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
Death by dick. An honorable death. Put a picture of his dick in the photo collage at my funeral.
I went to bed early to get up and have a cup of coffee and watch a Sunday sunrise; and again you come home with no shirt and more stamps than my passport. Get the fuck up now, you are taking an Uber to waffle house. The order is in you name.
wait i saw you last night?
we found you ass naked on the couch covered in pillows.
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
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