You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
i wish there was a 'silent except for booty calls' volume level on my phone
Just whacked off in the middle of writing a paper, gave me great ideas. Note, should do this more often.
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
all i remember was you yelling "look at my little feet" at everyone on the way home from the bar.
like a dude with a badge in a golf cart is gunna do shit. Unless he has a tazer. Then it's fair game.
come back what if one of your parents walks in and im just sitting here eating a cheesesteak without you
Have the decency to NOT HANG YOU'RE USED CONDOM ON THE FOOSEBALL HANDLES! Dickhead.
This Alex the guy who suck your belly ring
Some toppless girl just walked past me in the hall and gave me half a carton of smokes. I have never been more aroused.
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
I had to get my boss birth control a work today. I knew going to ASU would come in handy in my career someday.
I feel worse lying to the guy I hooked up with than I actually do for cheating on my bf
I let my daughters ex boyfriend take me home from the bar. Hey, at least he's old enough to drink
We didn't have a place to have sex. So we timed the automatic car wash & spent $9 for 3 minutes and 45 secs of car sex.
Randomize
