i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
I can do anything tonight that doesnt involve an erection.
Cause i'm hanging over the toilet bowl and thinking about your ball in my mouth is not helping
Don't let me forget to bring the toilet inside tonight.
I feel like I wont be making enough money to support my frivilous lifestyle of beer and mcdonalds
on the subway to an interview & there's a dude doing whippits out of a cheese wil can
Just induced vomiting to put out a carpet fire.
Everyone is cheering
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
He laid on the ground 100 ft from the car crying about how he just wanted to be home already
I just watched a stripper purchase $43 of Rockstar and corn nuts. Godamnit! We need helmet cams.
I woke up to pizza pinned to my wall. So that's that.
Too bad, iambic pentameter is a drunk specialty of mine.
The FEDEX guy just cock blocked me by getting his van stuck in my driveway
Will exercising make me less horny?
Randomize
