We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
I just found a dead bug in my nose. if that's the worst thing up there im considdering myself lucky.
An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
then I woke up and felt a boner that wasn't even mine. never taking 3am vodka again
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
I wish pancakes were everywhere. Just pancakes. I want lilies at my wedding. No dress. Just priest. Just lilies.
He cheated on me in real life. I can cheat at words with friends.
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
Wait... All I had to do was ask for a sandwich and you would have come over
She's legally too young to drink and was making out with a guy who is ethically too old to drink.
i would never take his side over yours. you coulda gotten knocked up from another dude and i'd be right there next to you blaming it on him saying some shit like "his sperm were just too sub par for you" or "shoulda had a bigger penis"
He called me kiddo. We can't have sex
Waxing your own asshole is awkward and difficult at best.
he tied his pants around my leg to stop the bleeding... i think he just wanted a good excuse to take his pants off
well did it work?
it was a success in both ways.
one of my coworkers asked me if I was PMSing today...... excuse me sir, but it is none of your business as to what my uterus is or is not doing right now. fucker.
and yea, I'm PMSing.
Randomize
