im using old socks as coasters. im going to make a great housewife.
So Ryan had to wash the dishes. His solution: take a shower with them. I'm never eating at his house again.
whatever it's my dick and i'll put it wherever i want
He sat there and debated the pros and cons of hooking up with me
I tried telling you she just blew me in the bathroom but you were too busy making out with her to listen
Shaun got a portable breathalyzer for christmas so now we can tell who the biggest pussy is at the end of the night.
Oh my god. I'm sorry if i peed on you last nite. I am truly disgusting
Breathalizer & tazer party did not go as casually as expected.
I went to the bar saying i wasn't going to drink that much. I forgot sobriety might as well be some mythical creature when you're with Holleey
We don't watch enough power rangers
I left for five minutes and Chris wound up half in women's clothes, half naked. And the naked half was covered in shamrock stickers.
Please tell me last night did not happen and there is another reason why my phone smells like ranch sauce ahahah
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
he bit THROUGH my nipple
plus side, no need to pay for a piercing.
It happend again, swimming on the floor... Vodka is my friend
Randomize
