So I feel really bad about last night...can i give you a blow job and we call it even?
make sure you eat your skittles last so when you barf you can barf RAINBOWS.
I'm glad you enjoy my eating disorder so much.
I love memorial day. It's drinking in the name of patriotism. God Bless America
it's kinda bad that we're already planning travel arrangements to his funeral
She has puke on the back of her shirt not quite sure how the hell she did that
The guy had great intentions when throwing us free beer off the balcony... but of course I was the one to get hit in the face because that's the kind of luck I have
Dude. Cvs sells sex toys. And my discount works on them. Game on.
I just need to stop hanging out with girls who drink wine coolers.
I'm jealous that you can use my boobs as pillows & I can't.
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
How was my night? He had a picture of his mom on his night stand and he yelled "Papi like" when he came. Fuck tequila.
somehow getting chased by a bulldozer was NOT on my to-do list for today. just saying
"WHAT IS THIS LESBIAN MADNESS"
This may sound strange but do you have my pants?
You tried to trade them for some girls skirt... So she has them...
Okay so as of now, we may either be coming for one night, two nights, or not at all this weekend. It depends on Laura's toe and if I get my period. Will explain later
Randomize
