o shit let me call u back theres a hamburger in my pocket
So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
she's into porn, im staying here tonight
Guess who just hooked up with the cop that fingerprinted her?
Maybe someone other than the mad hatter should have gone with him to the ER
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
pretend your vagina is a choco taco and the guy is someone who really loves choco tacos. let him enjoy the choco taco.
The Blue Grotto manager called. He asked me for your name and number. Apparently, on reviewing the videotape he noticed you consumed a whole pizza by yourself. He indicated that he has a tshirt for you and wants to put your picture on his eating wall of fame. Apparently, you are the first such person to complete this incredible feat of eating. Congratulations to you!! I am so proud.
I know you're gay. But if I'm not getting dick, then you have to. That's what friends do.
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
Mom called her a cunt. I think that's code for "don't bring her over ever again."
I thought I was heading girls talk. It was the toilet. Like put my ear to it
His exact words: "I don't have anything you can't treat with antibiotics."
We celebrated Cinco the right way. We took shots of 1800 then he fucked me while Selena was on TV in the background
I’m honestly just flattered that you think I could make PornHub’s Top 10.
Randomize
