Your face is a jimmy john
you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
He had a stripper pole in his bedroom. I didn't know whether to be impressed or creeped out.
so this chick screams out the name doug is bed..not to later do i find out doug is her vibrator
hello competition
So... on the count of three, we are going to forget last night ever happened... 1...2...3
I think I may have accidentally stepped in fire
I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
Well I guess I'll go shower now and wash all the stripper off.
Please tell me I didn't try to make out with a 70 year old Romanian man last night ...
I just found a half a joint in my bed. . .don't know if this qualifies as a proud moment or a cry for help
So I bet a guy he could drink two irish car bombs faster than me and I lost. now he gets to name our first son. sory.
I just got fingered in the Win-Co parking lot for pills. How's your meltdown going?
Got home and told boyfriend what happened. He was like "you made out with a guy you call Balls Deep?" and hi-fived me.
There's no sexy way to moan the name Ernest. Or Ernie. This relationship is fucked
i feel like i got punched in the face....
you did....
Randomize
