she was passed out on the moving sidewalks in the airport, we NEED to travel more often
And I was the only one who felt it was dangerous to set the tv and blender on the ledge of the hot tub
I definitely recall eating shredded cheese out of the bag while you were wearing that apron.
When I was with you my penis felt like a fat woman crammed into a pair of lulu lemons
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
"Clean/organize my room day" turned into "Blast my old Jock Jams cds while getting high as fuck with a strobe light day"
I just want to pat him on the head, bake him some cookies, and reassure him that, someday, he will get laid.
I mean, it's just pathetic when the standard is tinder and he can't live up to it.
Got to use the phrase "sweet pukas dude." My day is made.
YO. MCGRIDDLES.
I shouldn't have to tell you to stop throwing knives at me.
I’m a women at a strip club dressed as post Malone
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
He made a group chat with him, his wife, & I. Is this really life!??
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
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