We need to get cat food
Nevermind, the cat will eat lucky charms
bahahaha. this guy working at subway literally has someone's name tattooed on his arm, crossed out, and another name below it.
Do you think it would be a good idea to mention in my admissions essay that I was the guy that streaked across the soccer field last year?
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
You put your shot glass in your waistband and then told me how convinent it was.
I am unable to type or say "unprotected, receptive anal sex" with a straight face. clearly, HIV was a poor research paper topic choice.
I cannot even. Taco bell reception. Beers. New friends from Georgia.
What's the politically correct way of saying you've made someone your bitch?
I wish the sun would stop judging me for being drunk while it's still shining.
Yeah. I had to take off my shirt. It's soaked in weakness.
i told myself when i was 16 i would never fuck an Alan. now i've fucked 3 and i'm punching my 16-year-old self in the face
I keeping finding meatballs in random places
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
you fell asleep with her panties on your face. how are you surprised??
you have 30 seconds to convince me not to grab this guy's crotch in front of his girlfriend
Randomize
