I'm pretty sure she sent a group text out saying that I was the one to get with her last night and sorry to everyone who didnt make it.
Honestly it was an honor just to be nominated.
I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
He blow dried my hair while I sucked his dick. Now THAT'S fucking teamwork.
Seriously I just dipped a banana in vodka I really need to stop drinking
Queso dip and pictures of Daniel's penis. It's like the last days of Rome over here.
You have a roommate and cry when you see my dick
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
I woke up in a strange bathroom. Was I blonde when you left me last night?
He sent me a text from across the party that said "your sexy." I just couldn't.
I'm to sober to make life ruining decisions and alcohol is to expensive at this bar for me to fear that level of drunk happening
I had the most traumatic dream I've ever had just now. I ripped my dick off because a girl asked me to and spent the rest of the dream crying about my dick
All I've done today is nap, eat candy and get off from my vibrator. I didn't know it was possible to be THIS single.
Okay, I just reached peak living alone
I ate a piece of chocolate cake while jerking off
She woke up with her hand super glued to the fridge....how the hell am I Supposed to get her off??
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
Randomize
