I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
i just fingered the ice cream at home instead of getting a spoon
been there done that
i just realized the only form of arm exercise i get is holding my arms up in the stand up tanning booth
In case you come back to the room and i'm not here, yes there's a cup filled with gravy in the microwave. Just take it out if you need to heat something.
Concert was great. Tackled the lead singer. Met him afterwards. He was cool about it.
I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration
Well. No wine. And no real mixers. I'm using vodka and grape juice and calling it Slurrrlot. Happy Holidays bitch.
Brightest idea yet: lets drink enough at ladies-drink-free nights to make up for the cost of tampons. Breaking even on having vaginas!
Oh man. I am high, watching The Office and getting pancakes. What a country.
You tried to stop drinking but then she started feeding you tequila with a spoon. You were like an adorable baby bird.
When the stripper from this weekend is your cashier at Publix the next day 😐💀#pensacolaproblems
It's only 10am and I doubt my day could get much worse. During my 9am meeting I had to sit between my boss who I fucked for my promotion and the guy he walked in on me fucking on the copier
well ya only live once...
that cant be your answer for every horrible thing you do
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
If I don't get alcohol poisoning from tonight I don't think i ever will.
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