do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
I have a great idea. you just need to get pregnant.
Mother, no, i will not talk about this again. Please stop planning my unborn daughters life. I will not put her in pagents. That is trashy. Stop watching toddlers in tiaras. It is also trashy. I love you.
don't ever try to run hungover. just puked mid-run in front of an old couple that were going for a walk. they were horrified.
You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
he was fingering me, then looked down and said "i like your socks"
After he was done he gave me a case of landshark and tickets to tomorrows yankee game. This is the best nonrelationship ever
I don't think everyone found it as funny as I did... Nothing says "Party's Over" like the sound of a pump action shotgun.
the first cop to show up was this girl who hooked up with our home ec teacher in high school, she knows about questionable decisions
Nahh no judgin. Compliments to the balls are always heartfelt
Okay, so when I go to meet your grandma, let's do a quick cum check to we don't have another "what's that on your face?" situation.
I'm only bisexual one week out of the month. Nothing like ovulation hormones to make the genders of my hookups seem completely irrelevant.
VIVE LA RESISTANCE
Oh god, what now?
Randomize
