dude facebook disabled my account because im registered under a false identity. now in order to get it back, i have to prove that it's really my name. i sent them an email and had to sign it "Cordially, Lloyd Pancakes"
I puked last after eating a volcano taco and drinking vodka. I felt like a fucking dragon.
She tried to keep her legs crossed last night while doing a keg stand. Way to keep it classy.
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
Jerking off has been your answer to everything tonight.
don't worry about the poodle she's always like that. she's like 14 years old and ate a bag of weed when she was a puppy.
Nope we're in the ER. He lit himself on fire trying to impress another girl with magic tricks.
"drunk introduce yourself to everyone colleen" came out last night... you kept grabbing guys faces that you just met and just kept saying their names over and over and over again so you wouldn't forget.. then would see them 5 minutes later to introduce yourself again..
He told me he wants to eat me out all day while I lay in bed watching football. Seems like a solid foundation for a relationship to me.
sorry for laughing and taking pictures while you were having an asthma attack on st. patricks day
if he ever tells me he loves me when we are sober, i am a goner. just fyi.
Ugh... The hoe gods giveth and the hoe gods taketh away.
She's licking the vodka she spilled off the desk
Aaaaand now she's drinking it out of the shot glass like a cat
Its like he got lessons from Jesus on how to use his tongue. And his dick.
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