even in the morning, she still thinks my british accent is real.
I wish there was a morning after pill that made you instantly sober
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
He asked what my name was on facebook chat. IT SAYS RIGHT THERE. i will never be drunk enough for this guy.
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
New rule : you aren't allowed anything . Ever .
You're going to the beach with me so we can have beach sex whether you like it or not. Get over it. Kthx.
why the fuck are my pubes caked with bread crumbs?
ps I'm eating candy off our sex sheets. gotta say the only thing better than sweet tarts is sweet tarts with a hint of sex. perfect post vday situation
Why is hotel staff askin about the blood in our room
Nope not happening. When I close my eyes the floor moves. I'm going to enjoy this free roller coaster.
Sorry, I was unaware dragging you upstairs for sex was such an awful thing.
Between the uncertainly of my bowels today, and the distance the bar is to my house, remember I am doing this for you and our mutual appreciation of alcoholism.
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
I'm eating shredded cheese and chugging coke, until I can function again. I'm tingling everywhere
Randomize
