my best friend tried to rape me with a pineapple
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
bubblegum was invented today. we're getting drunk. end of story.
I just looked at all of our spring break pictures... there's a guy getting a blow job in the background of the ones on the beach.
God, you're like boner-b-gone
this is really not the time to pretend we have morals
He fell asleep and they duct taped him to the floor. He's pissed.
My vagina is depressed thinking about her future.
You know it was a challenge blowing out the candles. It was hard to think of a wish, while drunk, with a concussion.
I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking
I'm about to ride on a tractor i have no time for you
I feel like there is something fundamentally wrong with me as a woman. My initial text to you was "What's up, fuck bucket?"
I started my period on international women's day. It's like the world is congratulating me and punishing me for being a woman at the same time
Rock bottom: having sex rejected while your boyfriend talks in his sleep as you stuff your face with Girl Scout cookies
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
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