He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
as if moving home wasnt embarassing enough, mom picked up my laundry while i was gone. guess who needs to find a new hiding spot for his cum towel..this guy.
That's the first time you've ever said the L word without referring to drinking or partying.
Apparently Sundays are the worst days for your friends to get their head split open and need stitches...there's only 1 doctor on duty
I succsesfully kept my nipples in my dress all night. Even when I got in a fight. I was made for the bar.
This is stressing me out. I feel like I need to eat the dick.
Do you know how hard it is to maintain a conversation with someone who just told you they put their cat in the fridge on purpose?
He just sent me a picture of himself naked while cooking pancakes and he made the caption "bitchin' in the kitchen"
Idk. It's not appealing to me. Like don't get me wrong, I love ur dick A LOT but I don't want to stare at it on an iPhone screen
I still owe him the card with all the sperm paper cutouts falling out like glitter saying " sorry you can't hold your load. Better luck next time "
He stopped in the middle of us banging in order to check in for his Southwest flight.
but I'm still not sure how you became more and more fluent in Spanish the drunker you got
Apparently I have decided there are no repercussions for my actions
No we were too stoned to stop you from wiping the peanut butter all over the car.
Russell is lonely. He needs a companion.
You're lucky you have a monster cock or most people may just laugh at your penis' nickname.
Randomize
