its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
The worst thing that has ever happened to me happened today. I was taking donations at goodwill and someone donated a clearly used vibrator
She used the introduce me to her roommates so she could find out my name trick the next morning..I may be in love.
Something about a hand job in a car doesn't scream girlfriend
I bruised my vagina when I was climbing out of the trash can.
Sorry about giving you those ripped gym shorts after my dog ate your pants, but after the awkard BJ incident I didn't plan on hearing from you again
It's times where you wake up in the hospital after trying to road surf that you wonder what you're doing in life.
No more. You can't have nice things, and vodka is a nice thing.
My boobs love her too. She makes them feel important even though they're small
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
You stumbled in the door as high as a kite, & ran into the table. I asked you if you were all right. You replied with "I don't have any soup."
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
Can you get the dildos out of the shower before the maids come?
My fuck it list is complete! I finally got a firefighter!
The police officer that arrested me Friday night just bought me a shot
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