her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
I wish life had little blips of pornography
I wont touch it. I promise i wont touch it. JUST GET UNDER THE DAMN TABLE PLEASE.
it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
I don't want to smoke with her when she's on adderall. She carved her pumpkin for four hours & didn't say a word.
I feel like I shouldn't be doing my banking stoned. But I bought a new bowl. Her name is Sharpe. Pronounced Shar-Pay.
It feels kinda weird thanking you for sucking my dick, but I just don't know what else to do right now
This weekend has taught me that sometimes, being buried under a mattress is the safest place in the room.
Eating cold pizza and drinking a beer for breakfast while standing in a hotel window naked is how I say hello September...
I don't have any bail money, if that's where this conversation is going
There's nothing quite like having a little 8 year old boy hand me a Bible on campus while I'm on my way to the health center because of my recent slutty tendencies.
Did you leave it the depths of Magic Mike's favorite banana hammock?
my liver is dry heaving
No, it's okay that he's on a date. I attach no more emotion to him than I do my vibrator.
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