wanna go halves on a baby?
ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
FYI-Owning a kitty significantly lowers your chances of ever seeing mine...
i just picked a peanut m&m up off the floor. with my toes. and then proceeded to eat it.
hey bro how do you do that fake vagina thing with the tp roll? im bored.
Just saw a picture of your new tub, cant wait to pee in it
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
Also when i was high i would close my eyes and see a puppy on a grill having pancake batter poured on it.... And for whatever reason it was fucking hilarious.
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
easter 2014 is on 4/20 THIS IS NOT A DRILL YOUR FAMILY WILL EXPECT YOU TO BE HOME AND SOBER I REPEAT THIS IS NOT A DRILL
I like dinosaurs. I like penises. It's kind of a win win
Totally had a conversation drunk last night with a bisexual chick at my apartment in Spanglish too.
You're a hero.
I swear I was in Legend of Zelda Twilight Princess and American Ninja Warrior at the same time. I'm never getting high while rock climbing again.
Just because my bed is easier to get to doesn't mean it's okay to fuck in.
Randomize
