This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
this morning i realized i came home with more condoms then i left. burn.
my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
I woke up at 4am on the couch with half my clothes on. And by half my clothes I mean my earrings.
Do they take checks?
Did you really just ask me if you could write a check for a DRUG DEAL?
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
well in DOG beers, i've only had one
I found the bottle of ketchup and sobe you tried to hide in the middle of the lawn last night
Dave got tied up again. I'm done breaking into girls houses to cut him loose. At least before noon.
Im fairly sure two chicks roofied me last night. Suckers. I love free drugs.
I made out with a dude last night who has an ex wife. Is this what post grad life is about?
It's disgusting. He breathes through his mouth and just sounds fat. Plus he chews all loud and shit.
Just got to Evans to buy weed. His mom showed up unannounced. Now the three of us are chillen. Super.
Dougie got over his pride nerves. Found him dancing on a float wearing nothing but rainbow boxers.
I'm just letting you know right now in advance that if I die or go to the hospital or end up in jail tonight it's because your kid sold me mushrooms.
Randomize
