My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
In attempts to Not be THAT GIRL in front of my new crush I will only drink a 12 pack instead of my normal case.
You broke a window with your face. I don't think the landlord will be as impressed as we were.
my mom just found my flavored lube in the basement. she gave me a lecture about how "giving head is degrading" omg i feel sooooo bad for my dad
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
asked the cab driver where he learned Swahili last night.
i love him because he let me keep my UGGS on while we had sex
I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
i'd say i'm about at weeping-uncontrollably-in-a-puddle-of-my-own-tears-and-urine level
A big dick and how quickly they respond to snapchat is all I look for in a guy
Today was my cousin's Kindergarten graduation. I happen to also think of it as a MILF convention.
I found a blow up pig at an adult store. He will have to fuck that on video if he wants anal. Also, I bought a pair of clear high heels. Tell your brother I love him.
my friend was passed out in the bathroom so I threw up in the coffee maker, not the pot the water reservoir that kind of drunk.
I have a hook up buddy in Abiquiu. He lives next to a Chipotle; that's the only reason I see him.
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
Randomize
