I had a fork in my beer hand and just stabbed my tongue.
Best part is I totaly had to get into my dads car like I didn't have my pants off two minutes ago.
remember when you found twisted pleasure condoms in my parents bathroom? theyre gone.
It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
We were tigers and tigers don't wear pants
We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
There are rocks in my bed. And dirt all over my face. Explain?
googling pictures of Lindsey Lohan so that I know what to wear to court is definitely a low point in my life
Last I saw, they went for a smoke and only one came back. He passed out outside. I'm glad he's only 120lbs. I left him on the rug still. My mom is gonna be pissed.
You know I'm having a rough day when I'm curled up in the corner eating Spaghettios.
Side note, from now on any snap chat I get that isn't interesting enough... Is getting a dick in response. Judge your snaps accordingly
Totally thought something squeezed my boob. Then I remembered I was wearing a bra. Isn't weed great?
There are footprints all over my windshield
You said you were making waffles...
I just met his mom for the first time with a hang over. Then we went to watch his 8 year old cousin get baptized. Apparently his family loves me. I should drink more often.
Randomize
