I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
It's official. Every single female in their late teens and early 20s get their fb statuses from a pool of cliched "quotes" which all say, without saying, "boys treat me like shit, I know they do, but one day I'll find 'the guy' who will treat me right no matter how psychotic I am." Vom.
I swear if it wasn't for meeting for drug dealers @ gas stations, i would never remember to get gas.
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
i find it unbelievable that you didn't think it was necessary to intervene when i started letting people autograph my body with spray tan.
My liver just had a heart attack.
I had one glass of wine then passed out for 4 hours. It's like I'm having a quarter-life crisis.
It was dumb but not something to force me into sobriety
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
My mother is currently smoking weed with a dying bee so his last moments aren't miserable. And she wonders why I rescued a grasshopper missing a leg.
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
if he becomes president of the united states, I will tell EVERYONE that i took his virginity.
I told him I might be pregnant and he said he'd buy me a test and a twix bar. I'm marrying him. Tomorrow.
I’m not lawful evil! I do evil things because I want to, not because of the law
Randomize
