We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
im in an endless cycle of being too hung over to eat all day...then getting too drunk because i didnt eat anything. where is my life going?
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
Im in Ft Meyers right now looking right at an alligator. I have had a couple of beers and people are telling me not to feed him but Im gonna do it anyway.
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
I think I sprained my soul last night
The maintenance guy asked for a box to stand on to reach the ceiling. All I could offer him was a keg.
We would be rich. And the whole world would be stoned.
I will show up on your front porch in a wet t shirt and some mac and cheese
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
I spent the whole ride asking the cabbie if people ever have sex back there, and if he wanted me to make that number one higher.
Had a one night stand and didnt remember the guys name until he started sending me poems in the mail.
I swear it’s like he’s filling my soul via my vagina
who gets drunk at chipotle by noon and then gets kicked out? this chick.
So there we are, fucking beneath the Christmas tree and I glance up and see one of the local Jehovah's witnesses staring in horror through the decorative glass in the front door. I'm so proud of us.
Randomize
