Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
I drunkenly recorded an episode of Family Matters last night. I took a shot everytime Carl Winslow had a mustache.
just found more coke in my pocket. i love not washing my jeans after every individual use.
I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
My cousin's dog just exhaled smoke. My job here is done.
he drove an hour to get eggs with me not even a blow job, just eggs.
Did you ever get our sex tape out of the rental car before you returned it?
It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
Sober me does NOT approve of what went on in my pants last night.
Yup, totally tried cooking bacon in the dryer last night.
she tried to douche with champagne. in front of all of us. unabashedly.
I was riding her and she yelled "fuck me" then someone in the room next door yelled "you don't have to say it if youre doing it."
I had sex with marker all over my face so I can do just about anything.
Nah. After about 5 shots he decided he needed to clean the gutters. We're headed to the hospital now so meet us there.
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