Definitely locked eyes with the stripper who gave me a lapdance last night as she walked by me and into the Ann Taylor Loft in Times Square.
I'm at an open mic night and the next act is called 'the best creed cover band ever.' The guy i recently hooked up with is on bass.
We just got home. I got some malt liqour and a lottery ticket so I'm really doing a lot with my life right now
He just brought me a wine glass. Full of Tequila. Ignore any texts after this one.
it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there
He stripped down to boxers and then started flinging jello shots with a spoon into people's mouths like a catapult.
We're in ER. He's high on morphine and I'm drunk. Gonna score some bed pans for jello shots.
I just watched dragonflies fucking. You can't match that level of geek.
There are 18k people at the game and I'm next to the one guy who pulls his underwear down to his ankles to piss.
I vaguely remember making out with his tattoo (?) and giving him an awesome massage and then I passed out on his floor. Shrug
PS: I just woke up from my shower
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
Drunk Jeff aka Dreff thinks he's about 3x cooler than be really is and about 100x better at dancing than he really is
Is it bad that when someone says the phrase "helicopter dick" I immediately think of you?
Just watched my first Christmas porn of the year. Def have the spirit now
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