Nothing is worse than puking naked in front of strangers
Just had to have the guy at Sprint clear the dried cum out of the trackball on my Blackberry. Wonder if that happens to him often.
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
We found him sitting in a beach chair in the basement storage room passed out. Idk if we should move him or pass the bowl around.
i'll booty call him tonight after the radiohead concert, that way he can see his favorite band and his favorite vagina all in one night.
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
She thinks Jesus was an astronaut.
Well, we could've been at the bar taking a shot everytime my rash spread. But Noooooo. You had to go out with your non- girlfriend. Lame.
Buying her a drink is like giving a seagull a French fry, all you're gonna do is get annoyed and shit on
We decided to try to steal hot dogs but it ended up with me punching him in the face and crying. Pretty solid night
I'm shaking a cocktail while in bed. Is that bad?
I found your birth control, it was in your Crown Royal bag.
And on the 323rd day without sex, God finally said let there be light...or love?
Totes just ripped ass and the bartender's eyes got wet
The weirdest part of it all was wondering if I was going to take off his fanny pack or he was before we fucked
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