I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
I had a dream that I had 21 friend requests. it was the best day
if you do not get any action from him tonight, I am personally walking my drunk ass over there grabbing his tongue and sticking it in your mouth. this is getting ridiculous
We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
Yea. I think between making the bride puke, feeling up the maid of honor, and sleeping with a bridesmaid. I did my part.
I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
Scored tix to flower show. Do we want to go drunk on Saturday or hungover on Sunday? Only two options.
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
Okay throwing up in my mouth a little = time to go home
Starting the day with sex, coffee and productivity are what the founding fathers intended
I just got a girl to make out with me just by saying "get at me." Get at me
It feels so wrong having a picture of my tits next to a picture of my daughter.
He couldn't undo my bra. He ended up breaking the clasp he clawed at it so long. We met on Tinder for God sake
QUIT STEALING MY PHONE AND SEXTING MY MOM!!!!
Randomize
