For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
The bartender laughed but the manager kicked me out when the mom conplained. There's no way my fart harmed that baby in any way
She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
Howd you meet this guy?
I found him next to my pants on sunday morn.
just passed out again, this time at a subway. On a positive not they gave me a free sandwich, pretty sure out pity but at this point i don't care
Just shook hands with the bud light truck driver, thanked him for his service to our country
I don't know what to be prouder of: the fact that last night i was able to successfully find my way home from evanston with 3-d glasses on, or that i was able to make my way around my house in the dark with my pants around my ankles
She has either a C-Section scar or a bullet wound, I can't quite tell
I'm on the bus, watching a girl shush her balloons.
She is the Michael Jordan of blowjobs. Unfortunately, her baby sister is the Michael Jordan of baseball of blowjobs. It does not run in the family.
Our first kiss happened while shot gunning a hit from a gravity bong. Its that type of relationship.
Fucked her on the patio while some dude drove by on a mower. He waved. Twice.
Cause I'll toss Tabasco sauce in his eyes and yell "Cobra attack" and walk away
Rob and I are cross faded and the only one taking care of us is a drunk person who's making us dance.
I also need to get my life together but instead I just eat spoonfuls of Nutella. We can't win 'em all
Randomize
