we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
A guy in a sombrero stopped to take a picture with me sitting on the curb.
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
we should hire that guy that makes pancakes that we met last weekend for our next party. He can feed us, and regulate!
Listen to me plotting my whoredom.
THAT IS NOT SOMETHING YOU TELL SOMEBODY THE FIRST TIME YOU MEET THEM IN THE DARK.
if I'm at school tomorrow just indulge my moment of pity and let me cry on your shoulder
Here you are just trying to masturbate and I'm talking to you like your an initiate for some secret society.
Emoji's do wonders when you actually have nothing at all to say..
That edible kicked in right as I was upside-down on that rollercoaster. Fucking.mind.blown.
It just smells like spaghetti and despair.
He used the ring emoji and we've gone out four times. What is my life.
The body is still out there. I don't think my trainer realized when he asked me not to drink for 24 days, how often I see dead people
I'm literally the definition of crunk, sunburnt, and dehydrated. I'm going to die tomorrow.
I can't be sure but I think I slept with a clown last night...
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