Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
Pls tell me she didnt actually sign a nutsack.
So howd u manage to get high at a one year olds birthday anyway?
Do you ever feel like a plastic bag?!
Thank you for calling me on to a higher level of debauchery. fuck anyone who says we aren't good for each other
Hey my results were negative. Your chlamydia train stops here. Happy hunting!
Ok how about tonight me and you get laid together. Same girl. Then she signs our dicks.
As weird as it sounds I would totally be down
Opening beer with my teeth is getting easier the drunker I become.
It turns out my teeth are bleeding.
Can't tell if its the LSD or if that demon man just stared at my penis. Cleveland is a weird place. All true stories.
TSA literally pulled two bottles of whiskey out of my bag. Once he saw the leopard print socks and the mickey mouse tank, he put it back in my bag and said "Have a fun trip, man."
I'm honored that you could tear yourself away from your girlfriend's vagina long enough to text me.
I'm so high. I'm going to need directions to get home.
I'm pretty sure ignoring the person that just sent you a picture of their boobs is bad nude etiquette.
Why are you barefoot at a strip club?
I told him we can’t see each other today because absence makes the heart grow fonder but mostly I just need to rest my vag
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