smoked weed with Joakim Noah last night....if he was half as fast to the basket as he is to grab a joint from me we'd have another championship on our hands
if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
he broke up with me while standing outside, half naked, waiting to fuck him. i feel like a leper right about now.
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
Dubbing lion king over planet earth. That stoned.
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
are you still mad that doritos made their way into my sex life
.....a litte
I fucking hate you. Some slutty looking drunk chick backed her ass up across the bar and started grinding on you. You ignored her because you didn't want to share you drink
I care about my drink far more than her feelings
I know, I know. But we've discussed my friends and appropriate social behaviour, and I'm pretty sure topless karaoke was a no-no.
Have I showed you the picture of my vagina with a little bang flag coming out of it?
We can't shop at Hobby Lobby anymore. They don't like Plan B which basically runs through our veins.
My phone just put together a highlight reel of yesterday's dick pic session, set to music and everything
Somehow I don't think offering me edibles is what dad meant by checking in on me
They're the hard candy kind!
You told me you didn't want to go to the hospital because you were drunk, but because you didn't want to leave the "fun".
Randomize
