I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
Talking about the game in the closet with a banana wearing sunglasses.
We have literally factored in $2200 for bail money in the budget. This vegas trip will be out of hand. We are signing confidentiality contracts.
Every time I roll over in bed I land on a different vibrator. I feel I'm the only one with this problem.
i mean, i offered you kinky, jungle themed sex. i don't know what else you want from me
I want you to get your positive energy all over me. I want to to look like something from Ghostbusters.
Don't act like you're not jealous that I disappeared into the closet to blow my husband. Marriage = all the cock I want.
Whatever. I am not explaining the physics of my dick slapping.
Dude. Went to buy some jack and sailor Jerry, when the guy at the counter realized it was my birthday everybody in the store including the stoners and the elderly sang to me. Then they gave me shots of moonshine. 21st bday was a success
I'm wearing fairy wings and I broke my wizard staff. If this isn't the most happy but sad moment of my life , I don't know what is.
Girl, we were harassing people from the top of a building. I don't know how I got down, but I'm eating chocolate cake in my kitchen. Sall good yo.
You know your Halloween costume is slutty when you have to shave your pubes to wear it.
I'm taking pictures of my asshole to send to my boss. This is not what I had in mind the day after thanksgiving.
When my card got declined you bought the vibrator without me even asking. This is what friendship is.
I mean, it's good for a lot of things. Just not the inside of your vagina
Well neither is bbq sauce but I dont judge kinks
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