operation harelip BJ is a go
When I came home you were watching infomercials, eating croutons out of the box and salsa from a funnel. Well done.
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
there are way too many $1s in my wallet for last night to have been 'tame'
Drinking with birthday clown in the backyard shed at a 5 year olds birthday party at 12 in the afternoon. My life doesn't need any adjustments
this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
im just gonna lie here and collect money in this whoppers bag while sprawled out on this bench and explain that its to buy weed for my hangover
A valiant attempt to obtain a backhoe was made
I want to break his glasses with my pelvis.
Ok cuz s'mores night just turned into pina colada after noon and it will be mas fun
Sleeping with random people is the same as soul searching, right? Ps that wasn't a team name suggestion.
A conundrum I think only you would understand: how to classily post "I need a ride to the liquor store" on one's Facebook wall?
Let's celebrate our country being screwed by screwing.
I was just seen throwin up on the bookstore building near a trashcan by parents. Naturally I throw a thumbs up and say go college
Why is my belly button ring in my ear
Randomize
