his facebook status quotes britney spears so there is always that
Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
the best thing about tacos is after you shit them all out you feel like to have room for your dignity to come back
I just walked in on my roommate beating off with no pants on, an unbuttoned hawaiian shirt and a cowboy hat, and he weights 300 pounds
He said I was the smartest girl he had ever dated, that should have been a sign from the beginning
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
I've already reverted to sweat pants. And lonely drinking.
It's fine...I've done worse things to better people.
I.V.'s should just be available for purchase at Walmart. God I'm dehydrated.
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
It's Breast Cancer Awareness Month!!!! What random hook up should check my tata's this year?!?!
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
I woke up in the middle of the night with my dick out and my electric blanket on high. It's like she wanted a hot dog.
I let a 30 year old guitar player that works at a call center go down on me in his backseat last night
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