Tell him to shut up cuz i said so. I lost my dollar shoe :(
she just fell off the couch. onto a bag of pretzels. her face resembled a cat that just swallowed a sock.
Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
I finally got laid.. you said it wouldn't happen.
He is offering to pay me back by sending me a dick pic.
.......................................
My thoughts exactly.
hey, its the girl who gave you a bloody nose and paid you back with a blow job. have you seen my shoes?
Found a Safeway Deli Sandwich in the shower this morning... Perhaps the 9th beer was unnecessary.
Think about if the incredible hulk and king kong had a retarded baby. That's the sound she made in my ear the entire time I fucked her.
And I feel bad.
Because we're having a serious discussion about our sex life and you're playing minecraft?
You asked me if you could throw up in my shoe.
I'm at the point where I'm gonna write in my mothers bday card. Happy birthday. Please stop having sex with the door open.
she and her cat are both sick as fuck so they just sat there looking at each other with her nose dripping on the cat's. both out of fucks
One day I'll learn not to get drunk on a plane. Today is not that day.
I need to stop acting like a porn star that isn't getting paid
Wish me luck on my new penis adventure
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