Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
Just found a hole in my wall with your left shoe in it.
I feel like letting the same guy who shot him dig the pellet out of his leg with a pocket knife was the bigger mistake
I went down on her for 35 minutes and didn't even get a handy. I've never felt more desire to be gay in my life.
At this point i guess a traditional, non-life-threatening pity fuck is too much to ask for
I almost drank vegetable oil. Where were you? I needed you.
My dad just told me I can't passout in the driveway after the 4th of July parade this year, again
I'm more of a "get high and take a bath" kinda guy.
My vagina has a mind if its own. Can you imagine if I didnt have you to run her ideas through.
I couldn't find any flowers so I brought her a cat.
I am all the way hung over and want nothing more in this world than a McMuffin. Happy day after Thanksgiving.
My hangover headache is somewhere in the Harry Potter scar neighborhood. I can now empathize with that poor bastard.
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
Randomize
