I like how you refer to peeing in the car as "super cute"
I gave him a handjob while watching the presidential address. Needless to say, it was weird.
The freshman next to me just said "I was rocking out on my way here to Dave Matthews..." I wish I would have passed this class the first time.
One of the bamboo sticks broke and impaled him. I think he's drunk enough that it shouldn't hurt until tomorrow.
Yo send me the pic of me stickn my dick in the paint bucket last night
I love that the power of margaritas brought us back together.
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
It would just be icing on the fucked up cake we're baking, if he got me pregnant.
Paying for my weed with Mike's hard lemonade freezables. The perks of having a gay dealer
Plus, I have my cousin, the dominatrix, to help me out if things get out of hand
It's my birthday, if I want to stay home, get stoned and watch the gameshow network, that's what I'm going to do.
We are no longer allowed to make spur of the moment decisions about our love lives
ABSOLUTELY NOT
Leaving the puke on the ceiling as a reminder.
No I'm not high but I did cry for over an hour tonight because I realized that they never made a sequel to "Under the Tuscan Sun" with Diane Lane.
the sex is SO much better when he thinks im going insane
Randomize
