i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
respond to me or i'm telling everyone that you inserted a vodka soaked tampon into your anus
take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
Eating Doritos is not nearly as enjoyable when I'm not drunkenly feeding them to peacocks.
You wrote me a letter and I cannot make out anything you wrote except the last sentence which says "tell the wolf ill meet him at sunset and that I'm sorrry"
Hey man, sorry I chased you around the house with a small table.
You act like I'm the first person to try and hook up with a blind chick.
I mass texted 4 of you for a booty call. Please reply all when responding so only one of you shows up. Last one is a rotten egg.
Bad news. I baked you a cake and one of my fingernails is missing.
Her virginity is one of the last things that remains of our childhood.
Long story short he broke into a preschool and threw all their cones into a tree.
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
I just watched in amazement as you had a full conversation about water temperature and bacteria with your pet goldfish.
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
the next thing I knew, I was on the floor of a Tim Hortons bathroom in Canada.
Randomize
