I don't know whether I should be pissed that there's glitter in my bed or proud that there's semen in there too.
first off, his name is dougie. strike one.
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
My own vomit just splashed me in the face. How's your day going
He just "revenge puked" on her kid. I think we'll be leaving soon.
Now I'm at the gym and I never want to leave. It's a combo of adderall and endorphins and I don't want it to go away
COME GET ME FR THE HOSPIGAL'!!!!!
James this is colleen. This is my new number. You just texted my grandma about getting cockblocked. Congratulations.
Apparently I'm ahead in the foot race to his dick because I'm not insane. If I'd have known that's all it took, I'd have worn sweat pants more often.
I asked him to change the channel. There was no way I could do reverse cowgirl with golf on.
Seeking encouragement from my tinder matches to ace this test. I've sunk to a newest low.
What's clit gel and why is it in my wallet.
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
Well I typed "penicillin a" into the search engine and before I could finish "penicillin and drinking" popped up. Google knows me too well.
His 89 y/o father walked in on us. Judging by the gasp/moan, I don't think the 1920s prepared him to see another dude inside his son.
Randomize
